sometimes,

sometimes I think my heart has too much of a capacity to love. This is bad, because it makes me uncool. I tell people I love them too often and with too much feeling, or I get really angry and hurt because they’re not paying me enough attention, or because I think they’ve stopped liking me, or I remember all the nice things they’ve done for me and decide that they are the most fantastic people in the world, and that I should then shower them in the compliments they deserve, or hug them repetitively and just a little bit too long (only happens when drunk I promise). And then they go, woah man, step back. Easy now.

And they’re right, I think. I really wish I could just relax and stop caring so much about everything, I want to be the cool one in this relationship for a change. Or the cool one in a friendship. I’m sick of being that mentally imbalanced secret dorkchild that loves and needs to be loved every fucking second of her life, both awake and asleep. I swear my dreams are worse than the thoughts I have awake. So um. I’m gonna try and be cooler. That’s all.